Glasses

I wiped the bar down as the new patrons walked in.  The bouncer nodded and flashed two fingers at me, letting me know they’d both paid.  He’d have memorized their IDs, so he could let them in as many nights as they needed to make their decision.  One guy came in for a year before he ordered the drink that killed him.

 

One of the guys was complaining about the price, the ambiance, and me.  His friend told him to shut up, his life was about to change.  I hated customers that didn’t know what was going on.  I hated all the customers though: pathetic losers trying to fix their lives with a drink.  I was doing it the old-fashioned way, with a job I hated that paid my student loans. My cynicism was deeply rooted since I’d met the objects of my Classics studies.  The gods weren’t any better than the losers buying drinks.

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I pulled out two leather-bound journals and set them on the bar.  I knew it was going to be a long night when they both saddled up instead of heading back to a table.  Great, they wanted the whole spiel.

 

“Welcome, ” I said. One look at these two average guys would show that they’d never touched an enchanted glass, much less had a drink from one.  Everyone that came in looked average.  The ones that managed to leave no longer did, one way or another.

 

“Thanks. Two drinks,” the blonde guy said. “One for me, and I bought his too.”

 

Buying two drinks cost more than some people made in a year.  I mentally shrugged off my surprise.  If this guy had the cash to ruin his life and his best pal’s, it didn’t matter to me.

 

“This is the glass menu.  Brief biographies are provided of the previous user.  Shot limit is 4 equal parts per drink.  Less is fine, but no more.  Beverage of your choice is on the house, though water is suggested for best results,” I said.  Blondie nodded and opened his book, Jerk still looked confused but stayed quiet. Both were about to get a demonstration.

 

“I’ve decided,” said a woman in back.  A smattering of applause greeted her as she brought her journal to me.  Everyone’s eyes were glued to her face, memorizing its details, homage to what was about to change forever.

 

“I’ll have a half Aphrodite’s glass, half Hera’s please.  Served in Aphrodite’s,” she said.

 

“Initial and sign the waiver,” I instructed as I checked the appropriate boxes on the liability form.  Once I thought it was funny that Dionysus and Hermes needed to have legal protection.  Since then I’d seen the changes the glasses could bring on and understood.

 

She did as asked and set the pen on the bar.

 

“Water or something stronger?” I set out the glasses inscribed “Hera” and “Aphrodite”.

 

“Red wine? Seems more poetic,” she said with a shrug.  I nodded and opened a bottle.  Using a jigger, one-half shot went into Hera’s glass.  I swirled it around for effect, then poured it carefully into Aphrodite’s.  After filling the small glass up, I reverently placed it in front of the woman.  I think her name was Amanda.  I often wondered if they adopted new names when they left, to go with their new attributes.  I only got my answer on the few occasions they made the news.

 

Amanda squared her shoulders and drank.  Before she’d even set the glass back down, the transformation had begun.  Her face converted from plain to airbrushed perfection. Her straight dishwater blonde hair changed to golden waves.  I could feel my attraction to her growing.  I was tempted to ask her to marry me.  I fingered the enchanted ring I wore, thankful for its protection.  I watched the other patrons sit up straighter, trying to make themselves presentable for the pseudo-goddess now among them. She smiled at her reflection over the bar, nodded to me and turned to leave.  The bouncer would successfully separate her from the patrons that followed her out of the bar, but after that, she was on her own.

 

The two guys at the end of the bar were gaping.  

 

“What’d you say the name of this place was?” Jerk finally asked.

 

“Olympus’s Dishwasher.  Now do your research.  I told you I’d buy you a drink that’ll change your life, now you just gotta decide whose glass to use.”